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By a contributor who wishes to remain anonymous
Some have curiously asked why I now adorn a mantilla (a chapel veil) to Mass and before the Blessed Sacrament. Rest assured that while it is a personal choice and act of personal piety– it’s not at all about me!
Firstly, however for context, allow me to share a little bit about the journey that led to veiling. My first time veiling ironically was not in the Catholic Church, but at a gurdwara – a place of worship for the Sikh community. T’was the Vaisakhi celebration circa mid 1990s and as a rookie journo, I was tasked to do the coverage on the celebrations at a gurdwara nearby. Thankfully, a Sikh female colleague and friend offered to accompany and guide me throughout the ceremonies and celebrations. She prepped me well too: no skimpy attire and bring along a shawl to veil. The only shawl I had back then was one that matched a salwar kameez, and so I adorned the hand-me-down suit with the veil and went for the celebrations.
While Mindy (my friend) walked me through the entire celebrations, I remember thinking how prayerful and reverential the community was. This must be sacred for them which is why their attire and their disposition was reverential in nature. The young and old alike, though many reminded me of Bollywood stars, and had a grand dance party ahead of them later that night, maintained a calm and prayerful disposition throughout the prayer service during the day. It was truly a privilege to witness their celebration. My subsequent veiling opportunities were at Hindu temple weddings and Sikh funerals of friends. So while some may perceive the tradition of veiling is from the West, my initial exposure to veiling was in fact from within Eastern traditions.
Some years on, I had also visited an Orthodox Syrian Church in Kuala Lumpur for a special service, but blissfully ignorant of their norms, I went without a veil. Thankfully, I learnt my lesson and by my first visit to India in 2013, I went for Mass to a Latin Rite Catholic Church veiled.
When I returned home, I went back to my usual Sunday norms. It was about this time that some ladies in my parish began to veil and I recalled wondering: why did I veil in India at Mass but would not veil here? Is it not the same Mass? Is it not the same Jesus, present in the Blessed Sacrament at the altar? This marked the beginning of my journey punctuated with questions, prayer and discernment, while discovering why I did what I did.
Meanwhile, over the years, I had come to learn the Latin maxim lex orandi, lex credendi, lex vivendi (as I worship, I believe and I live) and it lent greater meaning to the liturgy celebrated daily. I discovered how every prayer reflects what I believe and points me into the direction of how I should live.
In 2014, after some years of learning about the Theology of the Body through short video programmes, I finally embarked on what is now almost a two year intense study of the Theology of the Body text by (now) St John Paul II. Interestingly, it was during this study of this document in post-Vatican II, that I began to develop a deeper understanding and appreciation of the liturgy, Eucharist and Christ, who really offers himself – Body, Soul and Divinity to us in the Blessed Sacrament.
It was during this study that I rediscovered the Person of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament, the (ever faithful) Bridegroom and Spouse of His Church. It was not because of who I am, but a recognition that He is truly my God, Bridegroom and Spouse that I veil myself before His Holy Presence.
And so lex orandi, lex credendi, lex vivendi – I pray before my Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, because this is what I believe and it guides how I live.
While Vatican II, no longer compels Catholic women folk to veil, my choice to veil for Mass and for Adoration was to help me be mindful that as I come before His Presence it is He – my God, King and Bridegroom – no less. Because I am feeble, sinful and weak as I am, here’s the God I cling to.
So it’s not about me.. it’s never been and never will be ….it’s always about Jesus, only Jesus and truly Jesus.
Hence, I pray that you will pray for me to remain on the path of humility and grace. That I will always my keep my eyes and heart focused on Jesus.